That’s right – on the off chance you missed the other 20 announcements, I’m here to tell you that you need to start planning for Handworks next May 15th.
Originally, it was going to be in the fall, but it was the same weekend as Burning Man and the google guys whined and cried and eventually agreed to shave each others’ eyebrows and have the google lawnmower do all our lawns if we switched. It was kind’ve pathetic, if you want to know the truth. Multi-billionaires. Sheesh.
Anyway, where was I… oh yeah. Handworks. So as I was saying, it’s going to be seriously awesome. Here’s the corporate press release:
HANDWORKS CITY, IOWA — July 4, 2014: Handworks LTD (HWLTD), a 504c category tax-exempt lien holder in numerous really neat things, today announced that as a result of Handworks 2013’s marked improvement of the woodworking world’s outlook, and reportedly lifespan as well, the board of Handworks co, a wholly owned subsidiary of Handworks enterprises, will deliver a second Handworks event to the hand tool woodworking sector industry, and furthermore intends to announce a return to both the Festhalle Barn in lovely Amana and adjacent green spaces to contain no fewer than seven additional booth spaces for optimal delivery of woodworking techniques and tools designed to engender attendees with a broader and deeper operational modality, all delivered in an all-american, family-friendly, and thoroughly 50s-era wholesome environment that may or may not include the following: caramel corn, a ferris wheel, several women of ill-repute, an old-world beer-stein filled with jellybeans, an unnamed number of Neil Cosman-branded bluejeans, and the opportunity to visit and view the astonishing Studley tool chest – named, ironically, not for its splendor so much as for the name of its builder – in a truly nifty light- and climate-controlled Masonic lodge; further, HWLTD ended their announcement with the seriously sweet news that the new event had, in accordance with the HWCO style manual, earned the official name: Handworks 2015.
Now – as if that magnificent sentence wasn’t exciting en0ugh, I heard there are going to be ponies. And Peter Galbert. And $1 copies of Peter Frampton Comes Alive. Not to mention (for the complete Peter trifecta) Peter Ross, whose poster now hangs on the ceiling above the alcove where I take my siestas on long shop days. (He’s really really great.)
So what does all this mean? It means that not coming to Handworks would be jackassery of an order that, frankly, I’m not sure I want to think about. Now go, you’ve got arrangements to make. Hurry along now…